Peon's Place

Watch this Jimmy Kimmel “Hottie Body Hump Club” exercise ball video, with a ton of guest appearances. I couldn’t stop laughing. The best workout video since the Shake Weight commercials!

Working out their Hump routine are Scarlett Johansson, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Emily Blunt, Sofia Vergara, and Lindsay Lohan. My favorite part is the very end, where it’s Jimmy and LiLo, with the following line:

Jimmy: “…so affordable it’s practically a steal”

Lindsay: “Allegedly.”

View the video below, have fun!

In a move to the direction of additional Facebook creepiness, you can now take your stalking to a whole new level. And by that, I mean, the stalking now comes to YOU.

The Breakup Notifier app lets users select the friends whose love lives they want to monitor and, whenever they change their relationship status on Facebook, it sends an e-mail. ”You like someone. They’re in a relationship. Be the first to know when they’re out of it,” says the tagline on the app’s website.

Dan Loewenherz, 24, a developer based in Beverly Hills, California, said it took him just about four hours to build the application. He launched the app and its website Saturday, and in the past 36 hours the site has been visited more than 700,000 times and the app has been downloaded by 40,000 people, he said.  ”I was blown away,” he said. “This weekend, I just thought it would be a fun thing to do. It was going to be a little joke, I was going to send it to some friends… but I think people really like this idea. I just didn’t intend it to be this big.”

So it’s that silly time of year when we believe we should be “extra nice” to our significant other. Or if we are lacking a partner, we’re sure to feel extra bad about it, thanks to Hallmark and two-and-a-half isles of pink crap on the store shelves, ranging from heart-shaped candy, plastic flowers, and teddy bears that will eventually become a favorite toy of Rover.

I’ve been Valentine-less for the past 4 or 5 years, so I’m rather used to this routine by now. Just make it some ordinary day and try to not notice how cheery and giddy and crap some people can be, or how much people try to NOT be into the holiday, so much that it’s obvious they’re hurt by it all. The whole thing makes me laugh inside, like a 9-year-old, receiving valentines from his entire home room class at school.

I was lucky enough this year to have an internet valentine as a joke this morning, it’s been something to at least laugh about together. So thanks, mysterious person that we told the public about!  =)

For the rest of you, I hope you enjoy your long waits at the restaurant tonight, and the fact your movie will likely be sold out before you get there. Bwahahaha!

So here I am, sitting in my silly Statistics class, a mathematics course that is substantially lower than any other I have taken in the past fifteen to twenty years. A friend of mine states that this will become more difficult in the end, as I roll my eyes and hope that it does.

I waste two nights a week here, Mondays and Wednesdays, for an hour and a half a night. The term “waste” comes into play due to the fact that there are no classes which start at 7pm or later, so as opposed to taking a 3-hour class like the two I had last semester or the other two I have this semester, I utilize two nights for a class in which I will not learn anything for at least the first two months. Thank you, Business Administration pre-requisite!

We have tonight finally moved onto learning about the Mode Average of a set of numbers, which I learned about in 7th grade – when I was 12/13 years old. Modes are my favorite because they can be completely and wildly inaccurate as a measurement of an average set of numbers. If you’re still clueless, think “the number which most frequently appears” — congratulations, you have now learned the most difficult thing of the first two weeks of statistics.

I filed my taxes yesterday – after difficulties with H&R Block’s software that I’ve used for the third straight year, I should be receiving over $4200 back; whenever California and Obama get around to dropping that into my checking account. Thank goodness for claiming mortgage interest and property taxes.

My Packers won the Super Bowl this past weekend, which you knew already. And by “my”, I mean “the team I’ve been repping all year long, especially once we realized the 49ers were a wash”. My favorite football teams, in order, San Francisco 49ers, Green Bay Packers, New Orleans Saints. And if you must know two additional facts.. 1) I repped the Saints the entire season last year, and 2) I am now 4-0 in my last 4 Super Bowl picks (Giants/Steelers/Saints/Packers).

I’ve been playing the Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood game I purchased post-Christmas pretty heavily for the past two weeks. It’s essentially Assassin’s Creed II (and a half), with multi-player that I have yet to get into. I even “forgot” to go to sleep twice last week, coincidentally Monday and Wednesday night, after this slow-paced statistics class.

I could give you some of the retarded things that go on in this classroom. Such as the guy divided 33/53 and came up with 25%, using a calculator. Or the the teacher explaining how to find the middle number of a short 5-number list, for ten minutes, and the guy next to me asking “Can you explain that again? I got lost.” I swear to god, I was going to stab somebody with my mechanical pencil. I do not see how many of these students passed high school mathematics, let alone achieved the pre-requisite of Introduction to Algebra for this class registration.

That’s it for now. Time to doodle and diddle some classic stick-figure artwork in my math notes. Ciao~

..and not just in the California bay area! Phil from Punxsutawney, Philadelphia has risen from Gobbler’s Knob, located in a rural area about two miles east of the town, today and has not seen his shadow, so winter shall be coming to end end everywhere. Even in Dallas where the Superbowl is snowed in.

While his handlers and fans insist that he is more than 120 years old and that he drinks a special “elixir of life” called Groundhog Punch each year to extend his longevity, scientists maintain that groundhogs have a typical lifespan of about six years. Either way, a groundhog has been making weather forecasts since the late 1800s. If Phil sees his shadow and returns to his hole, the US is in for six more weeks of winter. If Phil does not see his shadow, the country can expect an early spring.

I wonder what Bill Murray has to say about this?

The Steelers get stomped on and crushed!

Jenny, the most famous of the Dallas Zoo’s six elephants, was called on to pick the winner of Super Bowl XLV at the Giants of the Savanna exhibit. The 10,250-pound pachyderm was given the choice between two watermelons painted with logos for the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers.

It didn’t take long for her to decide to smash the Steelers melon, showing that she picked the Pack. Last week, the Fort Worth Zoo’s coati Cody picked the Packers to win as well.

Many in Dallas don’t want to see Pittsburgh win another Super Bowl, so there you have it. Check the video!

Starbucks is at it again, allowing you to pay for that new 31-ounce calorie-filled drink you decided would be a good idea at the time, with your iPhone or Blackberry. The program officially started today, albeit it had been tested in New York and California for some time now. But it’s here nationwide, allowing you to reload your Starbucks cards, purchase drinks and other goodies, etc.

Ahh, technology! Thankfully every Starbucks sends out free AT&T WiFi which iPhones automatically pick up.

Americans are starting to get healthy again. And to combat this change in diet, Starbucks has introduced a 31-ounce size cup of coffee and other calorie-filled drinks.

Because Venti, the 20-ounce size, is not enough, Starbucks now has 11 ounces more in the form of Trenta. The regular 16-ounce Grande has an estimate of 420 calories each serving and that depends on which beverage you’re getting. So if you order Trenta, you’re doubling the caloric intake which equals to one-and-a-half McDonald’s Big Macs.

Good luck keeping those New Years Resolutions!

So I’m sure you have heard that scients today changed all the Zodiac signs. I’m laughing to myself as I type this.

Movements in the earth’s axis have spurred astronomers at the Minnesota Planetarium Society to add a new zodiac sign: Ophiuchus. Apparently astrological positions calculated thousands of years ago have required some new millennium readjustment. The shift was caused by the gravitational attraction of the moon to the Earth’s equator, causing all previous calculations to fall slightly out of whack. If you were born between Nov. 29 and Dec. 17 and were formerly a Sagittarius or Capricorn, you could now be Ophiuchus. But it’s not just you guys – the shift has caused many of us to switch teams, and for those of us who believe in astrology, it could trigger a minor identity crisis.

Here are the changes:

The New Zodiac Chart

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

According to TIME Magazine, the constellation Ophiuchus represents a man wrestling a serpent, dividing the snake’s body in two parts. Ophiuchus is considered a healer of men and a doctor of medicine or science who seeks higher education and enlightenment.

With Verizon taking the iPhone 4 (still on 3G network) next month, I have my predictions. And that is to say, reception will be no better than it is with AT&T. Apple really is to blame for many of the shoddy reception issues, blatantly dropped calls, etc. Not AT&T.

However, The Daily Show had a long piece regarding the inception of the iPhone into Verizon’s lineup of phones, and here is the video with Jon Stewart!

I love how they even threw Stephen Colbert in there.